I’m so Full of Love it Deeply Sickens Me

Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy. I am completely out of my mind and let my heart control my head and all that cliche BS. Nostalgia resides in my heart and awakens itself without permission. It pumps its bittersweet memories throughout my body reaching every vain and capillary—poisoning me with its twisted love-strung memories. Causing me to miss people and times that are so irrelevant to where I am now. Are all humans like this? 

Well today marks the horrible day when Brian’s heart stopped beating. Its eerily the same temperature; beautiful weather and budding trees. It hurts so bad to think an entire year has passed with his soul so far away. When I went home and I tried to be there for the people that I love.

Time passes like a train with no breaks. You cannot put a halt on this force that causes you to age and makes everything different. I can’t decide if this piece of me that holds fast to simpler times is telling me to go back to my old life, or if I have to push forward. Like I try to. Every. Day. 

But the weather is much too beautiful for me to be contemplating on this all day. So I will give a little thank you to my loved ones up above for distracting me with the summer fever that has taken place of the void where winter sorrows once resided.